Idiots

It is truly amazing how many idiots you run into on a daily basis. Some of you may be thinking that I am one of them, but the idiots I have run into today have been exceptional. I was buying something at a STORE, where a SALES CLERK was ringing my purchase. He scanned my items into the REGISTER, and hit TOTAL. The total was $15.51. I gave him $20.51, which would yield a $5 bill in change. He typed into the register the amount that I had given him and the change due amount popped up on the little screen, as well as printed on the receipt. He then spent at least two minutes trying to figure out what my change was. He checked the screen, then the receipt, the the screen again. He sat there and thought about it again, and then asked me if I wanted $5 in change? Hmm, let me think about it. No, maybe I'll just give you a tip, moron. It seems to me that someone working at a store, whose sole responsibility is to ring up items, collect money, and count change, would be able to figure out something as simple as this. His name was Ambroz. Dinkwad!

On my next misadventure of lunchtime, I went to get a sandwich at a little shop by my work. Their sole responsibilty at the sandwich shop is making SANDWICHES, correct? Well, the kid that decided he could help me was truly an idiot. He asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a Roast Beef and Provolone Chiabatta with lettuce only. Is that hard? NO! He got a chiabatta roll out of the designated drawer and looked at it for a while. He didn't know how to cut it. DOI! So next he started to gather the meager ingredients for my non-complicated sandwich. He was about to start assembling my food, when one of his coworkers gently reminded him that he needed to toast the bread. He smacked his greasy forehead with his gloved hand that is supposed to be handling my food and said "Oh Yeah!" So he put the bread on the little grill and closed the lid. Then he stood there like a bump on a log while it toasted. I am pretty sure that I learned how a toaster worked when I was 4 years old, meaning that I know that when something is finished toasting, its pretty hot. This kid apparently did not learn that lesson. He grabbed the bread off the toaster with his bare hands and threw it onto the counter, then blew on his hands because he burned them. So not only did I have the grease from his forehead to contend with, I also had his germs from his mouth about to touch my food too. He finally started to assemble my sandwich, but had to stop to ask someone else which one of the cheeses was provolone. He put together the rest of my sandwich and sloppily wrapped it in wax paper. I took it from him paid for it and left before I got any more pissed. You may be thinking, maybe he was new. No, I have been in there before and have seen him so I know it wasn't his first day. IDIOT!

The last thing that I had to mention in my pissy, too-pregnant, hot and uncomfortable rant, is how hilarious it is that the people that I work with always forget how to work the security door. In order to get in the door, you have to scan your badge, then type in your four-digit security code. I learned that on my first day, and have never had any complications with it since. There are people that have been working here for decades that still can't figure out the door. Its amazing how many people try to walk in the door without scanning their badge at all. The number of people who forget to enter their security code is staggering. People leave their badges at home all the time, they mistype their code, they do all sorts of stupid things with that door. And guess who is the one that has to let them in the door when they are idiots? Yep, you guessed it, its me.

Okay, now I must apologize. I am sorry that I am so ornery. I don't mean to be, its just that I am so sick of being the size of a whale, hot, uncomfortable, sleepy, and made fun of, that I get snippy, snooty, snotty. Never doubt that I love you all and I know that none of you are idiots. We lucked out in that department in our family.